Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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