hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
this boner is exhausting
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize