My first STD was from a foam party
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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