you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think I am morally bankrupt
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Randomize
