someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You ruined the universe
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
