My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
