He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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