i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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