just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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