big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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