before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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