I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
