Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize