I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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