for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
