the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
A+ Viking dick
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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