they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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