loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The ass gains better be worth it
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