Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Brb crying the tears of my youth
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
