I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
