Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
