anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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