her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
