wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize