So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
