Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize