Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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