I should be sponsored by Trojan
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
