There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
