You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
