I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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