Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize