party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
