i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
