he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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