I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
