she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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