Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
