How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
