That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
