dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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