That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
