i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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