like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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