Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
