She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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