Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
