I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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