either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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