Only a mothe r could love this liver
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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