I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
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call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
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The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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