I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
