very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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