Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Say something about gay babies.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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