oh god the rape fog is back!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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