I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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