don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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