i already hear my dad disowning me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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