she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize