OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
