You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
