Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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