so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this boner is exhausting
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
